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My friend was there at the time, and he was holding her head. I’d brushed her, cleaned her under her tail, and cleaned her face.He didn’t have to do that — it’s not like we were doing things that she wasn’t enjoying — but he was there to protect me. I’d scooped snot out of her nose — we know each other very intimately.All they did was go 'round and 'round; I could sense something about that in their attitude. It was a very interesting book — everything you ever wanted to know about horses.At the time I didn’t really think of myself as different or unusual; it was just what I was interested in.I let her come to me, and that’s one of the things I am very adamant about: I never use a halter or any kind of restraint.So, she chooses to come with me, and I leave her food and she puts her head on my chest and we snuggle and I whisper sweet nothings in her ear and rub her cheeks — what she likes. She really loves the area between the back of her legs touched.Early on, an experienced zoophile friend took me under his wing and taught me something I’ll always remember: A horse is going to give you his butt before he will ever give you his head. You know, it’s amazing — I don’t know if I have this innate thing or something, but only one horse has ever tried to kick me and that was while I was picking out her hooves, never during sex.Horses might bite people who come into their space, but maybe that’s because a lot of them are just used to people coming into the stall, putting on a bridle, taking them for a three-hour run, and putting them back.

The popular image of that person on the farm who goes and abuses animals because there’s no other outlet, that’s not the case. So it was at the back of my head at the time, and it’s kind of strange because there’s nothing about horses that’s disgusting to me. I much enjoy her company; it’s really not just about sex.

As a result of legal restrictions — sex with an animal is illegal in most U. states and European countries — the lived experience of being a zoo is rarely heard outside of underground online forums or secret meet-up groups. There was a carnival in a parking lot across the street from my house and it had a parade of them walking around in circles.

I begged my parents to let me go so I could ride the ponies, but when I got on a horse’s back I was absolutely horrified. I think I was bothered by how awful the situation was for them.

I wasn’t going to go broadcast what I was doing, but I also wasn’t thinking to hide.

I feel like my sexual development was bang on — I just had a different affection. And later I’d go to pre-internet online dial-up forums and that’s where I came across bestiality porn. As much as I later experimented with people, I was always sure I wanted horses.

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  1. Listen, I’m not one to make dating sound like a series of job interviews, but if you think of each “interview” as a chance to make a strong first impression, you don’t go into an all-out confessional.“Yeah, see that line on my resume that shows that I was employed at North Star Research in April ’97? Like when you go out with someone who says that she’s got another date tomorrow night. The only way this backfires is if she turns into a pitbull and presses you for a more tangible answer, names, dates, hair samples.