Dating as an acoa
Because life felt out of control and unpredictable, as an adult you try to control everyone and everything that feels out of control (which is a lot).
This leads to controlling behaviors in your relationships.
You struggle to express yourself, subconsciously remembering how unsafe it was to speak up in your family.
Self-criticism External messages that you’re bad, crazy, and unlovable become internalized.Or you might have sensed all the tension just below the surface, like a volcano waiting to blow.The constant lying, manipulation, and harsh parenting makes it hard to trust people.You sense that something’s wrong, but you don’t know what.It can be a relief to realize that some of your struggles are common among ACOAs.