Why online dating is bs
Danes also follow the Law of Jante, an unofficial ethos that frowns upon individual achievement and success. Rather than treating life like an endless rat race, Danish children are taught to be content with being average and, well, having average things.And, in return for accepting the ordinary, they end up less anxious, less stressed, and, most importantly, less miserable than the rest of the maximizing world.How many amazing potential mates have we missed out on because we were convinced the next profile would be better?This ease of maximizing might explain why even though more than 20 percent of 25- to 40-four-year-olds use dating apps, only 5 percent of them are able to find committed or lasting relationships through them.Now, substitute the jeans for a romantic partner and you have what Schwartz calls “the most consequential domain where this paradox would play out.” In every aspect of our lives, we are confronted with myriad choices, but how we make these choices is often more important than what we choose.The shopping trip shows an example of what Schwartz describes as “maximizing” behavior.“Maximizers treat relationships like clothing: I expect to try a lot on before finding the perfect fit.
Not only do satisficers experience less FOMO (fear of missing out), but they are also much happier than maximizers.
It feels almost as if dating is now a competition where the wealthy, the well connected, the young the 'beautiful, and the handsome are rewarded with relationships and successful dating.
The way people seem to date nowadays is in what ever way media, online blogs and articles, relationship magazines and films tell them to act.
Because people traveled so infrequently, much like the cave people before us, they often had little choice but to mate with the first eligible person they came across.
After all, who knew when another potential mate would come along? G., “It’s like the more money we come across, the more problems we see.” More money means more choices in how you spend it; and, more technology means being exposed to everything you never knew you wanted. The paradox of choice is most painfully obvious in the realm of dating.
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, a life-changing book that examines how and why having too much choice makes us miserable. What should be a fairly quick shopping trip becomes a full day of torture as you try find the perfect pair of jeans.